Wednesday, June 7, 2023

Massage you some questions

I wrote this in 2019, I think its time to publish it though.. its the truth of what runs through my mind when getting a massage... 10 of many...many... many... 

Here goes: 


  1. Eyebrows are so essential. (HA this was in 2019 - pre the great eyebrow fail on my actual face
  2. Why are farts and farting so funny - oh wait what if I fart now? will end badly - this poor woman.
  3. I wonder how I will keep my washing clean whilst travelling.
  4. Hmmm home - vineyards.
  5. WAIT i think i need to wee.
  6. Stop! wait! I dont think my arm wants to be there - see look - its falling off the table.
  7. Must make a slight adjustment, toes tingling... wait did she just push me back onto the bed? -yikes better lay more still- is she getting tired of me?
  8.  Am I annoying her? Is there something wrong with my back, I wonder if my back looks the same as other peoples backs? 
  9. A terrible noise, like running out of air coming out of the therapist every time she presses down. Super uncomfortable.
  10.  Third or fourth "urrrrrrmmmmmpppppffffttt" whoooshing air sound.. I realize the noises are, in fact, coming from me?? Heaven help us all. 
and thats it for now... 

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