No point in warrying

All still happening here, and if youre not in the UAE you will not understand the sound that comes out of your phone when we get these alerts - I was not not aware that our phones could make such a loud noise - such a horrific noise. It's like an intrusive fire alarm that scares the living sh1t out of you. 

So, my friends and I have decided we should recommend songs for the government to use so that when we head for shelter, atleast we have some karaoke time on way to safety. We've been compiling a list of songs to blast through our phones to replace the revolting siren sound: 

1. Hit me baby one more time - Britney Spears 
2. Titanium - David Guetta 
3. Oops I did it again - Brit again 
4. Boom boom boom (by Venga boys OR Black eyed peas)
5. Where is the love? - Black eyed Peas 
6. Firework - Katy Perry 
7. 99 luftballons  -Nena
8. Bang Bang- Jessie J
9. Hit me with your best shot - Pat Benatar 
10. All you need is love - The Beatles

All jokes aside, it's been a bit of a long week, but we are safe and we are okay. I've moved back into my own apartment  and started trying to live as normally as I can through the alerts and sound of jets. Every now and then we feel an explosion in the ground and hear distant bangs. But definatly feels like its getting better, well either getting better or we are just getting used to it. 

4 March 2026

 

It's 12:40 am on a Wednesday morning. I'm sitting in my friend's lounge on her couch while the sound of military jets and missile interceptions fill the sky. Better to be with friends than alone in ones high rise building made of glass windows.

It's tricky to sleep just as a general rule for me... but also when the buildings shake on impact of interceptions and the explosions sound like they're on your doorstep.

Feels a little covidish this.. the unknown... what is next? Where do we go from here? And I going to be able to travel home? How long will the UAE's incredible defense force be-able to keep us safe for? Many questions... not so many answers... for now.

One thing I keep reminding myself through the moments of being afraid and uncertain, is that we, in the UAE, have so much to be grateful for. There are places not to far from here where these sounds and feelings have been the norm for years. I am trying to navigate the line between allowing myself to feel what is going on inside me... but also being grateful that this is unfamiliar, and that we are being kept safe.

This one is purely a memory bank one for me, so when I look back in years to come (God willing)  I will remember this feeling, on this couch, in the middle of the night - I will remember this day - the fourth day of this current madness...

Massage you some questions

I wrote this in 2019, I think its time to publish it though.. its the truth of what runs through my mind when getting a massage... 10 of many...many... many... 

Here goes: 

1. Eyebrows are so essential. (HA this was in 2019 - pre the great eyebrow fail on my actual face) 
2. Why are farts and farting so funny - oh wait what if I fart now? will end badly - this poor woman.
3. I wonder how I will keep my washing clean whilst travelling.
4. Hmmm home - vineyards.
5. WAIT i think i need to wee.
6. Stop! wait! I dont think my arm wants to be there - see look - its falling off the table.
7. Must make a slight adjustment, toes tingling... wait did she just push me back onto the bed? -yikes better lay more still- is she getting tired of me?
8.  Am I annoying her? Is there something wrong with my back, I wonder if my back looks the same as other peoples backs? 
9. A terrible noise, like running out of air coming out of the therapist every time she presses down. Super uncomfortable.
10.  Third or fourth "urrrrrrmmmmmpppppffffttt" whoooshing air sound.. I realize the noises are, in fact, coming from me?? Heaven help us all. 

and thats it for now... 

Sleeving the old behind...

5 and a half weeks!!!

It's been 5 and a half weeks since they took 80% of my stomach out!

I finally bit the bullet and just did it... wait... wait.. wait lets rewind to the beginning of this part of story...

As you all know, its been up down, up down, up down (repeat 60000 times) 

The last up... was a combination of things including a sexy ankle break and surgery with a side of lockdown and covid stress. 

Couldn't exercise so I decided to exercise my jaw- extremely well... I personally believe I have kept the delivery companies, Burger King and Sushi Art in business during this time. You know, doing my bit for the UAE economy. (Not to mention taking on the responsibility of keeping the South African vineyards in business too) 

Got stuck in a cycle of trying to start exercising and eating right, ankle swelling cos I weigh too much, feeling sorry for my self then helping the economy like the good person I am. 

Long story shortish I hopped on a plane with my mom... (for those of you who dont know, my mom is forced to come with me to look after me for any and all surgeries, cos I'm grown up like that) and off we flew to Turkey. 

And this is the beginning of the new story for the 3 of you who read this... 

Ill check in again soon (soon being anytime in the next year or so judging by my track record) 

The List (Part 1)

I have started a list, it will have to be in instalments, as each reason needs explanation, of why I think one day, when I am grown up, I should get married. 
I realize most of these things I can pay other people to do, but it would be far more convenient and possibly save me lots of holiday money to have a live in fixer and helper of things. (I know, I know! and love and all that stuff too)

1. I had the unfortunate task of flipping my mattress the other day. Why wouldn’t I? I’m a strong, independent woman... I approached the mattress with confidence lifted it up form the one side, Great! We half way there, then tried to move mattress bottom to top for flippage, then there were moments of gold and there were flashes of light, I found myself on my back with the mattress on top of me... ? This is not even the worst part of the story, the worst part is when I tried to correct the “moments of gold and flashes of light” the mattress ended up the same way it was... not flipped. 
Henceforth I will invite people over for dinner with the hidden motive of mattress flipping (shh don’t tell people that not only will they have to pretend to enjoy my food they’re being bamboozeled into moments of gold and flashes of light.)

2. While we are on the topic of beds, you all know the struggle (which is real) of changing the bedding by oneself, especially when you got your self a super king sized bed and evil laughed when you did it because you were so happy you were going to be able to spread eagle when you sleep... big mistake Pia, big mistake. 
Aside from getting lost in the wilderness of duvet cover at each change, have you all tried folding a King sized fitted sheet on your own? Well, HAVE YOU? 

3. I arrived at work the other day, and everywhere I looked there were woman with coffee in their hands, apparently its a thing? Husbands bring you coffee? Why wasn’t I told this as a young woman, I would have made more of an effort in my 20's. 

4. Strolling through my apartment, on my own (or so I thought) minding my own business when I approached a monstrosity the size of a small horse, just chilling there on my bedroom floor... I tried not to panic, reversed and tried to make my brain come out of panic and move into logic... then in a stroke of genius remembered I’d asked my friends fiance to bring me doom for when we went camping (I made what I like to call a ring of fire using doom around my blow up mattress to ward of any 6 or more legged friends) anyway I digress, back to the small horse in my bedroom. I grabbed the doom, tiptoed back into the room (Because tiptoeing can save your life? and apparently in this time of fight or flight tip toeing allows you to think you have control of the situation) and let loose on the cockroach, I am not sure if the terrifying insect died from drowning in the doom or if the poison killed it? The poison just short of killed me.. in fact I’m sure I have about 20% less brain function since said event... but you know, I’m still here to tell the tale. 

Pia: 1
Cockroach: 0 

Side note: Reason number four isn’t just cockroaches, its every creature great and small, with more than FOUR legs which falls into the "HELP ME" category. 

5. I know this next reason could be the the actual reason that I am single, but I burped the other day. It was impressive! I was proud! and I had know one to congratulate me, no one to witness the greatness of it... so I messaged a few friends to say
"Shucks, I just made the loudest burp ever and no one to witness, I wish I was married" 
One of my friends responded 
"Shucks, I farted in bed this morning and now I'm sure my husband wishes he wasn't married"  - you know who you are

So you know, this one can go either way. 

That sums up the first few reasons... stay tuned more on the way... could be anytime from now til next year, so keep it semi tuned like in the background, background music semi fuzzy type tuned. 

Happy Sunday all y'all... 

I’ve dropped like 70 darts

So its been a while *again (again: insert excuses here- make own up... thanks) 

I’m around 34 kilos down (which equates to around 70 darts, or 60 basketballs, or on a Valentine’s Day kind of theme 11200 bunches of roses)

The road is however still long, I still want to loose around 10-15 kilos and again I am clinging to the wagon by my fingernails... being dragged through the mud...

(my mud consists of red wine a gin- not at the same time-I am not an animal)

on Fridays

One would think the amount of time I’m on and off the wagon would be considered cardio, and therefore,  should I not be thin by now? I mean, I haven’t jumped on or off a wagon in many moons, but one would assume its pretty hardcore exercise? 

These last few kilograms are trying to kill me softly, they are being impossible to shake... it doesn’t help that I just don’t feel like eating healthy food and I just don’t feel like excerising... but than again WHO DOES?? LIKE EVER!  So I keep having to remind myself to suck it up cupcake, oh wait not cup cake, broccoli cake? BLEGH

I know its Friday (which is like Saturday in the desert)  but this is the week I get my act together before the travels start again... cannot let the wheels come off... 

Who came up with these saying for weight loss journeys like afore mentioned wagon jumping... 
Then “wheels coming off”: without wheels would mean I’d have to drag the wagon.. great strength training = skinny
On the “straight and narrow” okay this one works like a slap in the face “narrow” - why cant we be on the straight and broad? 

Signing out from me, officially on the straight and broad.... 

Tomorrow ....

An Average Two Year Old

I've officially lost the weight of an average two year old. 

I'm glad I haven't lost an actual two year old (that would mean I suck as a teacher but also as a human) but its weight I can definitely do without.

After a few years of saying:  "I will never go on a diet again" and "never again will I be strict with myself" and casting judgemental glances at those who do... I have had to swallow my pride, stage an intervention  on  just get my A in to G. 

As tricky as it is, I have needed to get my head around it and just stick to something drastic(ish)

Don't get too excited, as happy as I am with the loss, I still have around the weight of an elephant penis to loose.. 

I'll end this short update on the hip(s)poness with this meme of truth:

May the Odds be ever in your favour. #HungerGames #ACTUALHungerGames