Alice the camel and her mumps

Quick one before I head back to lala land .... I contracted mumps somewhere along the line one of the only downsides to working with small people is the "catching stuff" but they still worth it. Just wanted to fill u in .. Week 2down another 2kgs down (again overshadowed by jj's 2.6kgs dammit.) Just to be clear I wouldn't be eating at all at the moment if it weren't for my meals being delivered... Again, incase I didn't mention it in my last blog -Anja for president. Will blog more on my lovely lady mumps when I can stay awake long enough to do so... Over and out

Helgar-the-hippo: WEEK ONE.. WEIGHT FOR IT...

Helgar-the-hippo: WEEK ONE.. WEIGHT FOR IT...: "Week one done!! 3 kgs down - which I was so happy about until I found out my brother lost over 5kgs in one week?? WTH so here is the pre..."

WEEK ONE.. WEIGHT FOR IT...

Week one done!! 

3 kgs down - which I was so happy about until I found out my brother lost over 5kgs in one week?? WTH

so here is the pre-packed "am snack" all meals arrive like this.. neatly packed and calling me to eat them :) 

YAY 

I am proud to say I haven't bought anything from any shops since last Friday when I was picking up lasagne for my friends.. 

It also must be said that since starting this "eating plan" I have been offered meals, given cupcakes and chocolate, people invited me to dinner... WHY could these things not float into life when I CAN have them?? WHY???

Anyways there are ways, I am discovering that serial dieters like to weigh themselves (or not like to- cos as we know scales are the enemy ... but we do what we must do...)

1. NEVER weigh yourself with wet hair... adds kg's

2. make sure you have been to the loo as many times as possible before weigh in 

3. take off as many layers of clothing as possible before weigh in... that includes any jewelry and  or glasses 

4. where possible starve yourself before weigh in. save all meals for after you've been on scale.

5. where possible weigh yourself in different out fits in the morning of weigh in and find out which outfit weighs the least ... thats your outfit for the day.

I am convinced the above helps.. try it. 

week one done...we're finally on the road for more then two days... and so it begins 

the new weigh of life -mind over platter

I am on  day 3 back on track.. woohoo; definately for these days need some sort of signage on me saying: "CAUTION STARVING DIETER MAY BITE IF PROVOKED" be afraid be very afraid... 

I literally have some one feeding me :) *Anja for president*- food is amazing, and let me just add that once my stomach stops thinking its owed junk food - I will not be hungry ... so Anja packs every meal into containers and delivers it to me daily. So delish... its amazing and I am totally convinced this will be a winner!! THANK YOU ANJA !!!!

so while on the road to winning I have accumulated some dieting advice for all of us dieting experts... 

here we go:

Diet Advice: (1)

1. List your ten favourite foods.
2. List your five favourite drinks.
3. List all green vegetables that look like marsh grass, fur balls or little trees.
4. List water.
5. Avoid 1 & 2; eat only 3; drink only 4. 

Diet Advice: (2)

1. Success comes when you can look beyond food and look down and see your feet.
2. Always stand sideways on for photographs, it's really slimming.
3. Always stand next to a person fatter than you whenever possible.
4. Always eat in private, if people never see you eat, they'll believe you when you say you have a thyroid problem.
5. Convince your friends into thinking how good you're looking; study and memorize your most flattering pose in a mirror and ensure when anyone sees you, you strike the pose. Problem is that you have to maintain the pose until they leave.
6. Ladies: Cross your legs at your ankles. Your thighs and calves will look slimmer.
7. Get a tan.  A ruddy complexion helps you look thinner.
8. Regular daily laughs equals at least 10 minutes of exercise ........
9. Inside every person lives a skinny person trying to get out. But we can usually shut him up with chocolate chip cookies.
10. Never trust a dog to watch your food.

 So here I go... eeek its time

Stalk holidays

aaahhhhh- School holidays or as I like to call them "stalk holidays" as it turns out my holidays have become the "catch up" to all stalkage- I have stalked people you don't even want to know about...
Its bad, I wonder if there is a 12 step program for stalkers? I mean I am not only stalking people I know........ but people I don't know too, I just like to see what they're up to and who they know, you know?

I wonder if i should allow myself internet access during stalk holiday's when I have more time to waste... (which I shouldn't be wasting as I have Admin to catch up on) - however as you know- when I am blogging I should be doing some thing- its like the ultimate procrastination once all stalking is finished.

In my defense, I am unable to check up on people during school term? is that a defense?

Just thought I'd put it out there; if you have facebook, or a blog, or anything actually on the internet, have researched you.... THOROUGHLY.

nuff said.

still havent brought sexy back

As the title says I STILL havent bought sexy back...infact I think I have driven it further away? increase of snot, bread intake and the increase of savana drinkage.. the lack of gymmage (two "mm"'s for mmmmmm should I go to gym?)

I am the worlds biggest germ carrier (of the flu variety) - I am still winning the battle, I am aware that almost every time I have blogged my excuse has been "too sick" or "over seas" or some junk ! so from now on when I haven't blogged in a while I will just write "AN EXCUSE" or "COLOURFUL EXCUSE" and you can make up one - please use your imagination and come up with something fun like... helping the easter bunny personally hide eggs in kid's gardens for Easter.

Diet 1- Pia 0- weigh-less has officially become weigh-more, I am officially at breaking point ! something must be done before HIPPO does start singing "we are family" for rizzle! and if that happens I too, will become SA's most dangerous mammal... not pretty .... please guys if you see me in the street dont encourage "all you can eat sushi" or "nacho's" PLEASE- what ever you do tho, dont mention healthy eating etc, its all very well for me to joke about it, but if you joke about it I am likely to whippersnap :) as we do-

Other then the WEIGH MORE all is well, the little play group we have started is going so well, we going up to 9 kids from May... life is good, been able to spend some time in the all time best spot in the world (ELANDS BAY) and going up to my cousins wedding this weekend in Plett...

Thats it for now, i am purposefully ignoring the fact that in the last week I entered into a new decade of life... YIKES. I asked the kids how old I am... and they think I turned 6... so thats my age and I am sticking with it!
thats it for now, will try to blog again before I forget my password again, and if I dont, you know what to do :)

still havent bought sexy back

pick up and go

So its meant to be simple... Pick up , and go! Not hard??
At CT intermational- its drive throught parkade (get ticket) drive around a bit. Out the otherside- down around put card through-then drive a bit then get another one then pick up- then drive a bit then start going then stop going for another little card -then go??

Yikes not for standard grade students!!
Does anyone have a manual to cape town international airport I can use

Achtung Baby

Yes, bask in your jealousy! I went to U2 last night! So blown away :) Cape Town stadium super well organized!! Infact their bathrooms are AMAZING (this is very important to some one like me with a "cheap china" bladder!)

The Show its self- I am on sensory overload! It was incredible.. Shucks I wonder if I'll ever in my lifetime see a show that brilliant!
However- The drunk people behind me were far less brilliant then they thought they were ...

Over all an amazinggggg night -fabulous presi!! Feel super spoilt :) spanks my wabbit tawking fwiend weandwa !

I'm bringing sexy back (in a couple of months)

I had to RESET my password?! hadn't been on in so long that I'd forgotten how to get onto my own blog? YIKES
MERRY CHISTMAS Y'ALL .. you know what they say better late then never :)

in a nutshell in the happenings of me (cos i know the stalkers out there care - and if you dont CARE damnmit i am writing it so you READ it !) hahaha okay now that we got that out the way...

1. December came and went- amazing time in elands bay - so much windsurf dancing i am still recovering.
2. surfed until my ear drum burst- (never fear ...its fixed now)
3. started a little play group
4. as always a little family drama to keep us on our toes and looking upwards
5. started weighless (yes i am trying anything).. there was a bit of incentive (of the financial variety)
5. the result of the past five things-is a happy me..

I am sure when I actually start following the Weighless program the weight will start coming off properly, but until then I am still grasping at straws - big ones, small ones, broken ones - if its a straw I'm GRABBING it !

Started back at gym this week - (on Monday) Gym makes me happy - they have new bikes with GAMES on them - what a GREAT way to distract you from the seemingly near death breathing and sweat... like a panic attack?! I want to tell people THAT IS NOT SWEAT... ITS MY BODY CRYING!! and again I notice a little sign on the machines saying something along the lines of "if you experience shortness of breath stop training" - this means most of us should stop walking up the stairs to the cardio machines .... so in short-I'm bringing sexy back (in a couple of months)

I have found a little list of things, lets call them "gym etiquette"

* Don't stare at a dieting bodybuilder who is stuck on the treadmill. He doesn't want to be there (he wants cake) and isnt in the most friendly mood. Even though you may only be appreciating the body that he developed, he will probably still bare harsh intentions toward you!

* If you can do an exercise in a space that doesnt require any gear, do it. Dont do curls in the squat rack, leg raises on the bench press and dont sit and talk on a bench when someone might need it.

*No Funny Cell phones: At least get off the bench for the conversation.

*The weights have homes. They like their homes. When they dont go home, they get angry and do mean things. All the little dumbbells go together and all the big ones go together. So no 15s up by the 120s. The little plate thingys have homes also.

* If a book or shirt is on a bench, someone is trying to save it because they are doing exercises back to back. These are called "super sets" and the guys that do them are usually super big. It sure is awkward to be sitting there picking your nose when bubba comes storming around the corner.

*While its o.k. to use a couple of machines if its not peak hours, dont monopolize the gear. You cant reserve a treadmill for an hour while you run back and forth from the weights to the treadmill to do circuit training. Boy, this one really ticks people off.

*Watch out for I.L.S. Invisible Lat Syndrome. This is where even though there is nothing under your shirt; it looks like your carrying around two beer kegs under each arm. People are laughing at you.

* Wipe your sweat off of the gear; no more needs to be said.

* Change your gym clothes and don't put them on after they have been fermenting in your locker for a week. Strong in smell doesnt count!

* For the manly, there is a new invention called "deodorant". It runs a close second to something called the "shower". Check it out.

*Ladies: No more pink thongs over black spandex, please! Don't throw them away though because they may need extras if Miami Vice makes a come back.

*Guys: Retire a shirt when it starts to walk on its own.

*This is strange to me but I better mention it cause I seen it happen. please don't blow"snot rockets" on the gym floor. Really..

*For the guys, (or so i hear) if your going to shave, comb your hair, brush your teeth or whatever in front of the mirror, keep your cloths on. As comfortable as you may be with yourself, guys dont need someone they dont know selling hot dogs in the locker room.

* girls PLEASE the basin's are for washing hands- they are not miniture baths for you to clean your whole body in full view of people in the sauna ...

*The showers are single purpose. If I see anything other than clear water running around my feet, I'm going to freak.

now that its out there-Im watching you ... :)