Helgar-the-hippo: WEEK ONE.. WEIGHT FOR IT...

Helgar-the-hippo: WEEK ONE.. WEIGHT FOR IT...: "Week one done!! 3 kgs down - which I was so happy about until I found out my brother lost over 5kgs in one week?? WTH so here is the pre..."

WEEK ONE.. WEIGHT FOR IT...

Week one done!! 

3 kgs down - which I was so happy about until I found out my brother lost over 5kgs in one week?? WTH

so here is the pre-packed "am snack" all meals arrive like this.. neatly packed and calling me to eat them :) 

YAY 

I am proud to say I haven't bought anything from any shops since last Friday when I was picking up lasagne for my friends.. 

It also must be said that since starting this "eating plan" I have been offered meals, given cupcakes and chocolate, people invited me to dinner... WHY could these things not float into life when I CAN have them?? WHY???

Anyways there are ways, I am discovering that serial dieters like to weigh themselves (or not like to- cos as we know scales are the enemy ... but we do what we must do...)

1. NEVER weigh yourself with wet hair... adds kg's

2. make sure you have been to the loo as many times as possible before weigh in 

3. take off as many layers of clothing as possible before weigh in... that includes any jewelry and  or glasses 

4. where possible starve yourself before weigh in. save all meals for after you've been on scale.

5. where possible weigh yourself in different out fits in the morning of weigh in and find out which outfit weighs the least ... thats your outfit for the day.

I am convinced the above helps.. try it. 

week one done...we're finally on the road for more then two days... and so it begins 

the new weigh of life -mind over platter

I am on  day 3 back on track.. woohoo; definately for these days need some sort of signage on me saying: "CAUTION STARVING DIETER MAY BITE IF PROVOKED" be afraid be very afraid... 

I literally have some one feeding me :) *Anja for president*- food is amazing, and let me just add that once my stomach stops thinking its owed junk food - I will not be hungry ... so Anja packs every meal into containers and delivers it to me daily. So delish... its amazing and I am totally convinced this will be a winner!! THANK YOU ANJA !!!!

so while on the road to winning I have accumulated some dieting advice for all of us dieting experts... 

here we go:

Diet Advice: (1)

1. List your ten favourite foods.
2. List your five favourite drinks.
3. List all green vegetables that look like marsh grass, fur balls or little trees.
4. List water.
5. Avoid 1 & 2; eat only 3; drink only 4. 

Diet Advice: (2)

1. Success comes when you can look beyond food and look down and see your feet.
2. Always stand sideways on for photographs, it's really slimming.
3. Always stand next to a person fatter than you whenever possible.
4. Always eat in private, if people never see you eat, they'll believe you when you say you have a thyroid problem.
5. Convince your friends into thinking how good you're looking; study and memorize your most flattering pose in a mirror and ensure when anyone sees you, you strike the pose. Problem is that you have to maintain the pose until they leave.
6. Ladies: Cross your legs at your ankles. Your thighs and calves will look slimmer.
7. Get a tan.  A ruddy complexion helps you look thinner.
8. Regular daily laughs equals at least 10 minutes of exercise ........
9. Inside every person lives a skinny person trying to get out. But we can usually shut him up with chocolate chip cookies.
10. Never trust a dog to watch your food.

 So here I go... eeek its time

Stalk holidays

aaahhhhh- School holidays or as I like to call them "stalk holidays" as it turns out my holidays have become the "catch up" to all stalkage- I have stalked people you don't even want to know about...
Its bad, I wonder if there is a 12 step program for stalkers? I mean I am not only stalking people I know........ but people I don't know too, I just like to see what they're up to and who they know, you know?

I wonder if i should allow myself internet access during stalk holiday's when I have more time to waste... (which I shouldn't be wasting as I have Admin to catch up on) - however as you know- when I am blogging I should be doing some thing- its like the ultimate procrastination once all stalking is finished.

In my defense, I am unable to check up on people during school term? is that a defense?

Just thought I'd put it out there; if you have facebook, or a blog, or anything actually on the internet, have researched you.... THOROUGHLY.

nuff said.