Massage you some questions

I wrote this in 2019, I think its time to publish it though.. its the truth of what runs through my mind when getting a massage... 10 of many...many... many... 

Here goes: 

1. Eyebrows are so essential. (HA this was in 2019 - pre the great eyebrow fail on my actual face) 
2. Why are farts and farting so funny - oh wait what if I fart now? will end badly - this poor woman.
3. I wonder how I will keep my washing clean whilst travelling.
4. Hmmm home - vineyards.
5. WAIT i think i need to wee.
6. Stop! wait! I dont think my arm wants to be there - see look - its falling off the table.
7. Must make a slight adjustment, toes tingling... wait did she just push me back onto the bed? -yikes better lay more still- is she getting tired of me?
8.  Am I annoying her? Is there something wrong with my back, I wonder if my back looks the same as other peoples backs? 
9. A terrible noise, like running out of air coming out of the therapist every time she presses down. Super uncomfortable.
10.  Third or fourth "urrrrrrmmmmmpppppffffttt" whoooshing air sound.. I realize the noises are, in fact, coming from me?? Heaven help us all. 

and thats it for now... 

Sleeving the old behind...

5 and a half weeks!!!

It's been 5 and a half weeks since they took 80% of my stomach out!

I finally bit the bullet and just did it... wait... wait.. wait lets rewind to the beginning of this part of story...

As you all know, its been up down, up down, up down (repeat 60000 times) 

The last up... was a combination of things including a sexy ankle break and surgery with a side of lockdown and covid stress. 

Couldn't exercise so I decided to exercise my jaw- extremely well... I personally believe I have kept the delivery companies, Burger King and Sushi Art in business during this time. You know, doing my bit for the UAE economy. (Not to mention taking on the responsibility of keeping the South African vineyards in business too) 

Got stuck in a cycle of trying to start exercising and eating right, ankle swelling cos I weigh too much, feeling sorry for my self then helping the economy like the good person I am. 

Long story shortish I hopped on a plane with my mom... (for those of you who dont know, my mom is forced to come with me to look after me for any and all surgeries, cos I'm grown up like that) and off we flew to Turkey. 

And this is the beginning of the new story for the 3 of you who read this... 

Ill check in again soon (soon being anytime in the next year or so judging by my track record)